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What would happen if you switched your mindset from “have to” to “get to”?
Have you ever found yourself falling into the victim role around your home or work? Ever found yourself muttering while you’re doing something because it’s just one more thing that HAS to be done & no one else is doing it.
“I have to clean the kitchen before bed because no one else did it today.”
“I have to answer this question that’s so simple because they can’t look in a previous email.”
“I have to stop what I’m doing to take my kids to their sports class.”
I’m not sure about you, but when these thoughts go through my head, I find that there’s resentment that starts to grow & then colors my attitude when I’m doing those tasks.
I watched a short clip of a mom who was dealing with the same thing, but she shifted her thought process from “have to” to “get to”, she thought about who she wanted to be as a mother, what behaviors & character traits she wanted to exemplify, & then let those influence her behavior when she was getting things done.
“I get to clean the kitchen before bed because I want to wake up to a clean kitchen.”
“I get to answer this question & help this person because maybe they’re swamped today & didn’t have time to look in previous emails.”
“I have a flexible schedule, so I get to take my kids to their sports classes.”
When I come at tasks from a mindset of gratitude that I get the opportunity to do them, my overall outlook & feeling about the task are more enjoyable.
How do you want your clients or family to remember you?
Do you want them to remember that Mom grumped every time she cleaned? Or that she was generally cheerful as she taught you how to help & work together?
Do you want your clients to read between the lines of emails & hear your frustration? Or that you answered their questions & made their job just that much easier?
I totally get it. When you’ve asked your children to clean up or put away their things, when you’ve answered a question 5 times already, when it feels like you can’t get anything done because you keep getting interrupted, it’s frustrating & so easy to start feeling sorry for yourself or getting angry at those around you. But that doesn’t help you or anyone around you!
I started my business because I wanted to be a blessing to others, help our family, and have something specifically for me that didn’t revolve around the kids. How is it beneficial for my family if the only time they get me is when I’m grumpy? How is it a blessing to others when I answer the question they’ve asked, but they can read between the lines that it was an inconvenience to do so?
I want my character to show peace, helpfulness, kindness, & JOY!
I never want my kids to resent the business because of how my attitude is with them. I never want a client to feel like I’m frustrated with them or like they’re taking up too much of my time.
Here are 4 steps I’ve used when I feel frustrated & I know there needs to be a mindset shift & attitude change.
- Clearly communicate with your family.
– We’ve sat our children down & explained to them that if they don’t help clean up, don’t pick up after themselves, don’t look around them & see what needs to be done, that it falls on my husband & I & takes away from our time we have to spend with them. We’ve actually timed it to show how long it takes me to clean a room on my own vs. when everyone helps & works together. It’s amazing 😊
- Write down what character traits you want to have, what kind of woman you want to be.
– I know, another “write it down” step. But seriously, writing it down makes you really think about what you want, why you want it, & helps keep your focus on it once you’ve figured it out. So, what kind of woman/Mom/Mompreneur do you want to be? When people describe you, what adjectives do you want them to use? Now think about how to be those adjectives!
- Look at your situation & see if there is a reason you might not be reacting the way you want to be.
– When I’m overloaded & stressed, my reaction time is cut in half. I will start muttering to myself, I’ll be shorter tempered, & I know I don’t exude peace, joy, or kindness! So in those times, I need to look at why I’m overloaded & stressed & how I can fix it.
- Focus on one trait & work on changing your attitude & mindset to align with that trait.
– There’s no way you can wake up one morning & say, “I’m going to be more peaceful today,” & do it perfectly! Take some time to work on it; give yourself grace as you move towards that trait, that shift in your mindset. But then you’ll find that you look at yourself one morning & realize you’ve been doing better! Then you can start working on the next trait or mindset shift. It’s always a work in progress & you’ll never fully reach it. We had a piano teacher who used to tell the kids, “Progress, not perfection, is what we’re after!”
Is changing your mindset easy or quick?
Not in my experience!
Is it worth it to work to align your mindset with the woman you want to become?
Will you fail more often than you succeed at first?
Yes, but if you don’t fail, you can’t grow & improve!
Where are you on your journey of who you want to be vs. who you are?